Resistance

I have recently been taking a course on Courting Desire: the Soul’s Longing for Purpose by T. Thorn Coyle.  The course focuses on knowing what you truly want to follow, and following that desire in order to be more in-tune with your live and generally be happier about things!

So far the course has not been difficult, except in one aspect.  Resistance.

It is not uncommon for me to find myself starting the reading, then putting it down.  Starting to think about or do the exercises, then finding something else more important, or urgent, or just more interesting.

It has very little, if anything, to do with the work that is being presented.  The lessons are well written and clear.  Thorn is often on the forums and responds to questions openly and readily.  It has everything to do with me.

I still haven’t identified why I’m so resistant.  Am I worried that people will find it odd? Am I worried that I won’t spend enough time with my husband? Am I worried that I won’t like what I find when I take the time to listen? Am I concerned that it’s too much work? or that it will take away from other things that I enjoy.

I don’t really know.

I do know that it’s more like thick jello than a hard wall and with enough persistence, enough will, I can get through it.